Summer has always been my favorite Season of the year. I am sure it all started with the fact that I was born in the summer months. I can remember at an early age always loving the smell of summer and the way the sun would change in the sky and cast shadows at different times of the day. It meant there would be a celebration of my birthday and I would turn one year older. There would be pool parties and lots of girls night sleepovers. It also meant that a lot of my friends were out of town for my birthday on family vacations or sleep away camps. I adjusted and accepted this well but it has always stayed with me.
As a teenager Summer meant lots of trips to the beach and summer sunsets. Some of my favorite memories were of going to the beach, grabbing some subs from Subway, a towel and sitting with my best girlfriend talking away watching the sunset. I always loved the way it would feel after a good day at the beach. Salt on your skin, a little sun on my skin and a feeling that it was a day well accomplished for summer standards. In my mind Summer was also a time for transformation. Do you remember returning back to school and all of your friends looked different? Everybody seemed to mature, had different hair styles. taller, boys were more muscular and I always made it a point to look different when I returned to school. It was always so exciting that first get together with your classmates to see how everybody had changed.
College years quickly came and summer meant either summer classes or coming home to South Florida to be with my family. The cycle would repeat sun, sand, salt air, the pool and lots of fun times with friends. There might even be some small family vacations sprinkled in there.
I am sure all of you have your own versions and feelings of what summer meant to you growing up. There is truly a sense of innocence and freedom in the summer months of ones childhood. Oh and let’s not forget it meant no school responsibilities. As time evolves, lifestyles change and dynamics change in our lives. We start to mature and summer changes right? I believe that we all keep a little of the childhood summer spirit within us. I know that even in the present as June rolls around I get a little giddy and excited about what my summer will bring. My adult years meant Summer vacation time with my family. My husband and I would start planning in about January. We never planned easy trips. There was always a lot of traveling, changing planes, changing hotels, cruise ship travel, riding trains and booking a lot of tours. This was our special time together thinking about what excitement the Summer months would bring. Since our kids were young we traveled abroad and across the United States. We felt it was important to show our children the world and to know that people’s lives are very different based on where they live. Our trips also had a component of history learning and teaching.
Internally for myself, Summer was a chance too regroup, refresh and have a sense of freedom from the daily routines for my whole family. I wouldn’t go as far as I lived for the Summer but I really really looked forward to this time of year. Covid consumed the world and Summers were not going to be the same for the next two Summers. I have to be honest I believe I actually mourned my Summer that first Covid Summer. It was hard to let go of my Summer dreams and plans. My kids were getting older and how many more family trips would we have together on a regular basis. It was hard to accept and that first Summer for all of us was spent at home because home was deemed the safest place to be during the Global Pandemic. I made the most of it of course because that is just who I am. Pool parties, spa nights, movie nights, puzzles and dance parties all from the comforts and safety of our home. My internal soul still missed our family trips. The following Summer still under a Global Pandemic we decided we needed to get out of our house and town. My father had passed away that February and we all knew we needed to get away. So with our dog in tow we traveled to Orlando, St. Augustine and rented houses to stay in. This meant we were away, we could go to the beach while remaining safe from Covid. It was wonderful, refreshing but there was a sadness inside of me from the loss of my Dad. I mean really I haven’t been the same since he passed away. He was a man larger than life in my world.
Life marches on like always and we learn how to cope and deal with the changes that life throws our way. The world is living with Covid. We all have to learn that Covid is here to stay and we must live our lives and not restrict ourselves anymore. I believe that feeling so restricted and not being able to have my summer of growth, freedom and peace has truly impacted my grieving process. My make up is that I need reprieves from my everyday tasks and routines to allow myself to heal. This is also means to move on in my grieving process.
We all have just lived through Summer 2022 and what a Summer it was. I traveled to Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Hawaii. I can honestly say that people are back out there living their lives, traveling and experiencing the beauties and freedom that Summer has to offer. It actually made me feel free just observing people and their families enjoying their world again. Personally, the summer offered all that and more.
In Hawaii my Father’s name and memory constantly was being brought up. It was hard not to see this because each one of us just seemed to be talking about my Dad so much. His quirky behaviors, his laugh, his way he would always tell the server his food needed to be hot, things we were doing that he would have loved and my kids and husband shared a lot of memories of him. It was happening right in front of my eyes and in my soul. This time of year with all that it has to offer finally felt free from Covid and allowed my family to really process my Dad’s passing. For me it seemed like so much of my thought process reverted back to my Dad. I wasn’t really sure at the time what was happening. Until a moment, a very unexpected moment happened to me personally,
My family of four wakes up to excitement because we are going to go to a Disney Character Breakfast.(We were staying at the Disney Aulani Resort in Hawaii) Everything at Aulani is Disney with a Hawaiian flare. Breakfast was amazing and even though my kids are older the looks on their faces as we took pictures with the characters was priceless. I mean because of Covid they both missed out on a lot of teen and young adult experiences as did the rest of the world. So for me to see the kid like expressions on their faces warmed my heart. Now I have all the pictures and selfies to look back on to make me smile. The breakfast was almost done when a Hawaiian Storyteller and Ukulele player came into the open air dining room. He started to play the song, “Everything is gonna be alright.” by Bob Marley. I began to sway back and forth singing the song and suddenly tears started rolling down my face. I was in such shock I even covered my face. In that moment I felt my Dad with me almost as if he was singing this song to me or I felt his presence inside me. It was my Dad telling me it’s ok to move on and to live my life to it’s fullest. “Don’t worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright, this is my message to you.” It happened, giving myself and my family this time away gave us all the chance and the time to let go, remember my Dad and to feel at peace. Whenever I start to struggle I will remember that moment and I will sing Bob Marley’s song to myself or out loud to feel my Dad with me.
My message to you is that we must take every opportunity we have to take time out to support and nurture ourselves. In the beginning of this piece I consistently talked about what Summer brings to our lives and how it is a time for change and growth. Summer is this time for me. For others it could be the feelings of Fall and the warmth and comfort this time brings. Spring time is full of growth and renewal. I want you to think of all of these times of year and how you can utilize them as a therapeutic technique. The Seasons come and go and we can make a conscious effort to plan ways that we can incorporate therapeutic techniques and growth while enjoying all the changes the Seasons have to offer us. Family trips, quiet time in front of a fire, holiday gatherings, taking long walks in the cool weather all are opportunities to step away from our daily routines and responsibilities to give ourselves time to rest, process, grow, grieve and heal. This is not a new concept but through my experiences in Hawaii on my first big trip since a Global Pandemic I truly realize how important it is to take that time away to slow down, feel, release emotions and to accept the changes in our lives.
I shared my Personal Journey with you because even though I have provided therapy and therapy groups to those in need it doesn’t make me immune to struggles and difficult times of coping. I hope that my story has encouraged you to realize the importance of taking care of ourselves emotionally. Time outs are extremely important for our mental health and our daily lives to remain productive and healthy.
Don’t Worry About A Thing, Cause Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright, This Is My Message To You.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS ALWAYS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
GO OUT AND EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
Ciao
Ilise
