It dawned on me that if this is a blog and a podcast about mental health then I need to discuss going back to school. School will always have different issues that pertain to certain students needs that might involve mental health. I think most of us are aware of that. So why is this school year different from all of the others? To some it may be obvious but to others they may not be aware of the current struggles that kids are facing this year.
The first day of school starts differently in places around the globe. In the U.S. school starts from August to September. I decided to write this blog after my kids started school so that I could have real data and observations for my readers. I have to start in the beginning which is summer. Summer is a time of freedom and exploration. In about the month of July you start to see the dreaded commercial for back to school. In your head you are thinking why can’t they just let me enjoy my summer. I know I felt this way years ago and my kids do to this day. The reality that school will be here before you know it creeps into our thought processes. I know kids have been going to school forever. The reality is kids have not been going to school during a global pandemic forever.
Let’s set the scene. Some kids went to school in person last year. Some kids had school in the comforts of their own homes virtually. Obviously, the kids who went to school had the most normal year. That is if you add mask wearing all day, social distancing, no hugging your friends and let’s not forget the constant use of antibacterial cleaner. I am sure they also missed the classes being full with their other friends. The virtual kids had a year so not normal. I could talk all day about what these kids went through or just didn’t experience. The lack of contact with kids their own age, feeling alone and not to mention not feeling like they were a part of the whole school scene. This was the new normal for all of these kids.
The new school is upon us and now all of the children have to reframe their thinking and the learning process all over again. It’s enough to make your head spin, your anxiety levels increase and that nervousness in the pit of your stomach. We all know that school is so intense nowadays, even in kindergarten. I know that each child is unique and they all handle things very differently. My observations seemed to be global in the way they all were feeling on the anticipation of school starting. Personally, I witnessed it through my teenagers eyes and my child who is in graduate school. The anxiety was palpable. I mean I could feel it oozing out of them. My kids had friends over and their friends all had the same anxiety. They would tell me that the first week of school was always predictable for them. This year was going to be so different they would tell me. The butterflies in their stomaches due to the unknown this year. Many of them have been home for the past year and a half and have been taking classes online. The rest of the kids were in school with a very small group of kids and are nervous about all the kids coming back to school. The navigation process for all of these uncertain feelings and worries is overwhelming. The Open House at school, getting your schedules and meeting your new teachers can be exciting and scary all at the same time. I could see it in all of their eyes. Let’s be real one side effect of people always wearing masks is that you really focus on their eyes.
We all know that eyes are the window to the soul. I could see lots of fear, uncertainty and some sparkles in their eyes. I could see the relief that they all were going to be back in school and in person. Socially school is always hard to navigate. Covid only makes it more complicated and there is a lot of room for misinterpretation. I was told by one teenager that a girl just gave her a dirty look. I asked how do you know that if you can’t see her whole face and all of her expressions. She said it’s all in the eyes. I really had to stop and think about her comment. Socialization and cues that others give us has changed drastically. The mask has changed how we communicate: however, these kids are figuring it all out and learning on how to adapt to these new communication styles. This just blows my mind how much this pandemic has changed us all in so many different ways. I suspect that kids in school will adapt but that communication styles have changed and each persons interpretations of them have changed also.
This is the gauntlet of embarking on the journey of school 2021-2022. Children have a lot to work through and adjust to. As parents, friends or family members we all need to be aware of the struggles they are going through even the little kindergartners. They will experience emotional highs and lows. Look for the signs that your child might be having a hard time. It is very important that you ask them about their day. I like to not be so obvious with my questions. Maybe ask them how was lunch today and who did you sit with? How many kids are in your classes? Did you enjoy Chorus/PE class today? I have found that with some kids if you just ask how was your day you might not get an answer or it will be very vague. Children seem to respond better with specific and direct questions. There will be a lot of ups and downs throughout this school year with the ever changing pandemic and rules constantly changing. The best thing you can do as a parent is to check in with your student and see how they are navigating the gauntlet of school. I have learned that things can change drastically week to week so it is important to touch base. Never assume that your child is doing ok.
I want to recommend a great task to do with your student throughout the school year. Have them write down five things they are worried about in school and five things they are looking forward to or are enjoying in school. Give them time to really think about it. After they have completed the list ask them to share 2 thoughts they have written down from each list. The others that they listed are for their own privacy. This gives them a chance to share some things with you but at the same time maintaining some personal space. This will give you as the parent an idea where your child’s head is at. I would recommend doing this once a month so that it becomes a routine and it may even provoke them to start conceptualizing their thoughts better and more concretely.
I am wishing all of the students a wonderful year from Pre-K to College Graduates. This year will have it’s challenges but if we all communicate and stay in touch with our kids needs it should be a successful pandemic school year. The gauntlet is not easy to navigate but our kids are resilient and with good parental care we can all get through this school year.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS ALWAYS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
GO OUT AND EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
CIAO
Ilise
