Sleigh Bells ring, are you listening? In the lane snow is glistening, A beautiful sight, We’re happy tonight, walking in a Winter Wonderland. (Amazon Music, lyrics by Michael Buble) Did you get all the feels reading these lyrics. Unless you see yourself as a Grinch, I know that you did. With all the excitement of the Holiday Season, there also comes a lot of dread. I call these the Positive and Negative Stressors experienced during the Holidays. The definition of stress according to the Mental Health Foundation is “Stress is our bodies response to pressure”. This pressure can be planned or unexpected in life’s situations. Positive Stressors, is the stress we experience during happy times, events and pleasurable times in our lives. Negative Stressors, are the unexpected events, pressure of the events, social pressure, financial and poor time management. These are just a few examples of Positive/Negative stressors.
Surviving the Holidays can be exciting and stressful all at the same time. This time of year comes whether we like it or not. So let’s discuss how to cope and to ensure that this Holiday Season is productive, merry and bright. Honestly, it truly comes down to planning and preparation ahead of time. Procrastination is one of the biggest reasons why many feel stressed over the Holidays. I realize that your time may be limited and that is the main reason why you always find yourself under a time crunch to get things completed. My best therapeutic recommendations for this time of year is to plan ahead. A big reason the chaos happens is because time is not set aside, before you know it the Holidays are right around the corner. Pull up your calendar and take a good look at it. I believe you have two ways to cope with the job ahead of you.
1. Set aside one big chunk of time to get your decorating completed, holiday prep, guest lists etc.
2. If you can’t set a big time slot to complete your Holiday chores then set a small amount of time each day to get things accomplished. I know you won’t have that feeling of relief that it is all done but you will have the feeling that you have it under control and it will get done.
All this organization of your time will fall into the Positive Stressor category because it is all about the joy of the season.
I can identify three areas that can fall into the Negative Stressors category.
1. Social events
2. Financial limitations
3. Gift wrapping
This time of year the Social Anxiety is elevated to extreme levels. Pressure to get your friend or loved ones that special gift: however, you know you can’t financially swing it this year. The dreaded gift wrapping that always comes accompanied by a sore back when you have finished. I know some of you might be shaking your head yes at this place in the blog. I have a secret for you, these stressors can all be avoided or handled in a healthy fashion.
Let’s start with Social Anxiety, this is my Negative Stressor every year. The build up to a social event for me is one of unrest and anxiety. Ironically, once I am actually at the social event I am totally fine. It’s the build up to the event that get’s me every time. The way I handle this anxiety is that I identify which events I want to attend and the ones that I don’t. I am honest and I do not attend any event out of guilt. This has taken many years of work on my part to be able to say, “Thank you for the invite, but I don’t think I will be able to attend.” The parties that I do attend I always try to set myself up for success.
1. Talk about your Social Anxiety with others
2. Focus on healthy breathing techniques
3. Meditation exercises that focus on anxiety
4. Plan your outfit ahead of time.
5. Purchase the host/hostess gift way ahead of time
6. Set a time limit to stay at the event and if you feel overt anxiety this is your time to leave.
7. If you feel too anxious to eat at social events then make sure that you eat ahead of time.
8. If you are unable to purchase a gift for the host/hostess do not overextend yourself financially and buy one. Tell yourself that you were invited to the holiday event not for the gift you will bring but because they want you there. They enjoy your presence and that is why you are invited. Remember this.
9. Try to set realistic expectations for yourself, don’t overextend yourself, but do not resort to extremes and isolate yourself from the Holiday Season.
Therapeutically, I am a firm believer that how we approach the Holiday Season is all in our own hands. We determine how we respond to the Positive/Negative Stressors. Sit with yourself for some time today and identify how you are going to deal with the Holiday Stressors. Let’s make this time of year spiritual, bright, loving, caring and to feel the warmth of the Season.
Oh, and if you can don’t forget to treat yourself to something special this year. Nurturing yourself does not have to cost a cent. If you are looking for ways to pamper yourself, check out My Favorite Things page on this site. You can also go to my FB page and look at some of the items that I personally use to take care of myself. I hope you enjoy some of my suggestions. Time for me to get back to decorating my home for the Holidays.
LET’S MAKE IT MERRY AND BRIGHT
POSITIVE THOUGHTS ALWAYS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
GO OUT AND EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
CIAO AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS
ILISE
