I recently accompanied my husband to a weekend convention for his job. It was fascinating being exposed to a different work world and to be honest a lot of techies. Let me start by saying how intelligent they all were. The conversations were completely greek to me, I guess they call it code. I was my husband’s side piece and at first I was just fine with that. My brain was on relaxation mode and I just enjoyed the beautiful view of the turquoise waters in the Bahamas where the convention was. I noticed some thoughts taking over me that were coming from a negative place.
Let me start out with a question, to you my friends. Have you ever felt inadequate around others or that no matter how hard you try to advance yourself “You feel defeated”? This is exactly how I felt when the work conversations were taking place over the weekend. I dreaded the question posed to me, “What do you do”? I mean compared to what these techies do everyday at work, what was I going to say? Fifteen of the past 19 years, I would proudly say, “I am a stay at home mom”. I didn’t care that I know longer was working in Psychiatric or Outpatient Facilities. I was proud to say that I was able to be home with my kids, when I know so many other mothers are not able to stay home. I recognized every day how fortunate I was and understood how challenging it is to be a working mom. I salute all of you working moms out there, you are powerful.
Currently, when asked that question of, “What do you do?” I can say that I am a Podcaster, Blogger for the past four years and working on a “soon to be announced project”. I pull my business cards out with all of my info, hoping that I will gain more listeners from these interactions. I return home and the next day I finally am able to get back to my work. This work of being a Podcaster and Blogger has been a dream that I had from a young age. I always wanted to be able to express my thoughts and experiences to a large audience. Podcasting and Blogging was my niche to accomplish this goal. Sitting at my computer I am feeling somewhat inadequate after the weekend I just spent with the Tech Profession.
I go to the analytics of my Podcast, Blog and review the aspects of my new project and I am Defeated. It is hard to put so much of yourself into something and not see the results that you have hoped for. I am sure that at some point in your life you can relate to what I am talking about. The job that you have been at for five years and each year you are hoping for a promotion that never comes. Constantly being on the hamster wheel of endless dieting that never warrants the changes you were hoping for. Working so hard day and night studying for a course that does not elicit the grades you were working so hard for. Communication efforts with your teenager are constantly a battle and you feel like a failure as a parent. There are so many scenarios where one can feel like a failure, frustrated, unaccomplished or Defeated.
Here is the big question, what do you do when you are in this state? I will be honest in the first few moments of feeling this way, I just want to give up on the work, project or relationship. I know that you all can relate. Sometimes it just feels easier and less complicated to just give up. But Wait! You aren’t going to just quick your job on the spot because you didn’t get a promotion. You for sure aren’t going to end your relationship with your teenager. Absolutely not, are you quitting college over one course. I have been publishing a Podcast and Blog for almost four years and do I really want to stop because of poor analytics now? Of course I don’t, but feeling Defeated is a very powerful way to feel and sometimes can lead to rash or impulsive decision making.
What do we do with feeling Defeated? My friends, I know that each of your situations are personal and require individual decisions. I will tell you to stop the negative thought process and take a break from this line of thinking for a moment. Get up from your desk, your computer, your work space or even an individual and walk away for some time. This is always the better choice then making a rash decision. When you are clear in your thoughts, I want you to sit with yourself and identify the best ways to cope with your individual situations. I want you to look at what you have accomplished so far and reward yourself for the hard work you have put in. It is important that we recognize our advancements in life or a situation. We can not rely on others to give us that pat on the back.
Feeling Defeated can send the message to our brain to just give up. I mean it would be very easy for me to just walk away from my Podcast and Blog and never publish again. But wait! What about my younger self that had a message that I wanted to spread to others? I am still doing that even though my analytics are not what they should be. Giving up is not the answer when feeling Defeated. Each of us must take our individual dilemmas and put them under a magnifying glass my friends. This is where you can turn Defeat around and feel Success. Sometimes we have to look at challenges from a different angle. Dissect it and look at ways to change your course, this will lend to success.
Too many people have given up on their dreams because the challenge to move forward seems too daunting. I know my friends that you want to keep the spark alive on your dreams or your life challenges. Personally, I am going to look at new and innovative ways to increase my listeners and readers. I have put too much of myself into this endeavor and I won’t allow myself to be Defeated. Be Defeated or Fight Back? I hope you decide to fight back and look at your challenges with a new perspective on how you can move forward. I know that I am not giving you a fantastic way to accomplish your goals but sometimes you have to go back to basics. This will give you a new perspective and hopefully the desire to move forward in your life and not give up on dreams. It is important to identify why you originally wanted that job, your college degree or even becoming a parent, to find the strength to not give up.
There will be many times in life where we will all feel Defeated. I wish I could take that away from you but in this process there is a learning lesson and a chance to Evolve. This Evolution in you will always push you into the direction of accomplishment instead of Feeling Defeated. Let’s kick the word DEFEAT in the Ass. We are all Bad Asses and we can conquer the challenges that life give us. I am Kicking Defeat in the Ass are you? Let’s get to it.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
GO OUT AND EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
TAKE A LISTEN TO MY PODCAST AND EVOLVE WITH ME
CIAO
ILISE
