Covid-19 has changed the core of who I am! Hmmm, or maybe it has just uncovered the parts of myself that were always hiding just under the surface. The side of me that I have always kept close to me, not fully revealing it to others. I have no delusions that this is unique to me. I think that if each and every one of you really looked at yourselves there are a lot of ways that you have changed as well. I mean really be honest with yourselves: Have you changed for the better? Or have you noticed that your mood and behaviors are not quite who you are at your core? Do you see that you are losing sight of your true self?
I am posing these questions to all of you. I believe for each of us to come out on the other side of this Pandemic positively for the better we all have to be honest with ourselves. I would like to start with those of us who have noticed that your mood and interactions with others tends to be agitated, judgmental, argumentative or uncomfortable. If so, then I believe that you are becoming a victim to Covid-19. I know that this might sound harsh, but think about it: YOU are letting this PANDEMIC CHANGE how you interact with others. It is already difficult to remain six feet apart and to wear a mask with all of our socializations. If you are seeing a change in your personality along with these other requirements, then it’s time to work on your coping mechanisms during communication. I have seen it first hand happening on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I also have seen it happening with family and friends. The breakdown of communication is very sad to witness. I am not going to give a lesson on communication skills. That is not my goal here. The best thing you can do is think before you speak! We all have anger and frustration with this Pandemic but if it starts to blend in with your reactions to others then it becomes dysfunctional. I have always been one to think before I speak. When I am talking or texting with others I think through every word and comment that I make. If I find myself getting agitated, then I just don’t respond or I wait until I am not so angry. Therefore, I can express myself without being a bully or verbally abusive. It’s the time that you respond in the heat of the moment that will get you in a bad situation. I believe that if you take the time to refrain for a moment that you can get your thoughts out in a clear and concise manner without being offensive. I understand for some of you this might be very difficult because you are impulsive. However, I believe this is an exercise where you can gain more self control.
I have a lot of techniques that I use besides walking away for a short time. I try to understand both sides of the conversation or argument. I think when you put yourself in someone else’s shoes it gives you a greater perspective on how to respond to others in a difficult situation or conversation. Odds are you will respond in a way that you know will not provoke and angry attitude in return. This creates an atmosphere for more logical and comprehensive talks with others. A great technique is to write down what you want to say to someone. There is a lot to be said about the written word. Write down on paper or journal what you want to say to an individual that you are having a conflict or disagreeing with. Once you have finished read it aloud to yourself. It can be very enlightening to hear yourself read your own thoughts out loud. It also gives you the perspective of how others will perceive your comments. “Did I sound too judgy?” “Do I sound like a bully?” “Do I sound too angry?” “Am I getting my point across fully?” “Are my words going to provoke an angry response?” “Am I accomplishing my goal?”
Communication is at the core of our interactions with others. The weight of your words must take a lot of thought and consideration before you express yourself. Take that pause and really work on the way you want your words to be heard in a particular conversation.
In my next blog, I will discuss the evolution we have seen in ourselves personally during Covid-19. Have you changed your lifestyle, your daily routines and the way you see the world?
I challenge you to Explore All The Wide Open Spaces In Your World!
Positive thoughts and energy,
Ilise
