In life we mark moments and experiences with Anniversary dates. I don’t need to state the obvious about Anniversary Celebrations. When one thinks of an Anniversary they think of a happy event, starting something new in their lives or the lives of family and friends. Innately, humans love to have Celebrations and any reason to party. It truly is a beautiful thing to stop and acknowledge milestones in our lives.
Anniversaries, are not always the mark of happy celebrations and positive milestones. Anniversaries, can also be the acknowledgment of sad, tragic, traumatic and uncomfortable times in ones life. Though we wish that reminders of these times would just disappear and not surface in our minds and memories. The truth is that this is not possible. This is where you will see the Anniversary Effect.
Dealing with Grief, Trauma, Heartache, sadness, life changes can be a very trying and difficult time to cope. As an individual goes through these experiences there are various emotions that surface and that can interfere with our daily lives. These events may have been brief or forever life changing. Individuals that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder understand the daily struggles and how detrimental Trauma can be. Trauma comes from many different circumstances and must be therapeutically addressed on an individual basis. Individuals may not even realize that some of their experiences fall into the category of a trauma. For example, having to have an surgery that will change your body forever. The unexpected nature of not being able to prepare yourself mentally and adapting to the changes, can cause Trauma. Coming to the personal decision of letting go of a toxic relationship can be a Trauma. Losing a job and becoming homeless, is Trauma. Being disowned from your family because of your sexual orientation or life choices is a Trauma. I will assume at this point you realize that experiencing Trauma is not just about losing loved ones or surviving a school shooting.
Parts of your life experiences fall into the Anniversary Effect. The Anniversary Effect is what starts to surface at a conscious and subconscious level as an Anniversary date is coming closer. I will use myself as an example so that you can begin to see how the Anniversary Effect may take hold in your own lives. January 2022 I was admitted to the hospital and was told after a couple of days that I would need a total Hysterectomy. I was in such extreme pain that of course I agreed to the surgery. I didn’t realize or research at the time how this operation would change my life forever. I didn’t realize that I would never feel or be the same again. This enlightenment came following the surgery, as I was healing and for months to come. I spoke to a therapist friend because I was trying to deal with all of my emotions and physicality. This therapist explained to me that I experienced a trauma. I thought about that comment for some weeks after. I came to the realization of how true that statement really was for me. Months went by and the Hysterectomy faded more into the background of my life. Trauma never disappears, it just changes it’s form over time. The month of December 2022 was upon me and I started to have flashbacks of the pain I had, the fear, the Emergency Room, laying in pre-op and post-op. I would use thought stoppers because this made me feel like I was going backwards. The most challenging of all is I started to experiences that feeling of helplessness that I had all over again. This is the Anniversary Effect at it’s finest.
Our subconscious brains have a place where all of these feelings remain and as the Anniversary Date approaches our brain begins to let these feelings and images come back to the surface. This can be extremely Traumatic and quit confusing. Personally, you might even think you are having a setback in your healing process. That could be farthest from the truth. Events are traumatic because they are so life altering forever. The brain protects us but as the Anniversary date comes closer things surface because your brain is giving you a renewed chance to process. I know that this can be an experience and idea that is hard to absorb. Nobody wants their Trauma to keep resurfacing year after year. The brain is guiding us to process again so that we can continue to move forward with positive mental health.
Coping with the Anniversary Effect can be quit a struggle initially. It is important for you to embrace it for what it is and to allow yourself to go through the emotions that may be coming to the surface. The idea is not to suppress emotions but to rather work through them. Allow yourself the grace to feel sad, to want to spend time alone, to be a little irritable or unproductive for this short amount of time during the Anniversary Effect.
I hope I have given you some insight into yourself and when you might be experiencing the Anniversary Effect. Take a listen to Episode 98 of my Podcast “The Anniversary Effect” where I will give you knowledge and ways for you to cope individually with your life struggles when dealing with Trauma.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
GO OUT AND EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
CIAO,
Ilise
