Happy October 31st to everyone. This date evokes candy, costumes, tricks and celebrations. Cool colors of brown and spooky colors like black and orange. The date also is the official start of the Holiday Seasons. I always loved dressing up for Halloween. I remember when I was young, wearing a Bumble Bee costume. My dad worked late. I wouldn’t take the costume off until he got home so that I could show him how proud I was of my outfit. Sweet memories and the start of wearing costumes throughout my childhood and adult life so far. Yes, I go to adult Halloween parties and I attempt to wear a good costume.
Like most things that happen in life, this got me thinking about costumes and an individuals Inner self. Love this quote for Halloween, “Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, but it’s about finding the Imagination and Costume within Ourselves.” by Elvis Duran. This brought to mind the term Imposter Syndrome. Wikipedia’s definition for Imposter Syndrome is, “Imposter Syndrome also known as Imposter Phenomenon or Impostorism, is a psychological occurrence in which people doubt their skills, talents or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon do not believe they deserve success or luck.” Does this sound like anyone that you may know? Maybe, even yourself? In my professional life I have heard this term used many times but more recently I have heard friends and family use this term. So I wanted to take a deep dive into this topic.
Many of us have been on job interviews. Have you ever heard that inner voice during your interview, “Am I really qualified for this job, I don’t know that I can do this, I don’t have the skills for this job?” These thoughts cloud your brain even though you have just handed the interviewer a resume of a very qualified person on paper. Degrees, job experience and educational knowledge fill your resume page. Hmmm so why do you think you are questioning yourself? I have sat in that chair in the past, especially during my younger years interviewing for Psychiatric Treatment Facilities. What if they hire me? I can’t do this job? I am just a kid, what do I know?” I am wondering have you ever had this internal voice present itself during your life?
Many studies were done in the past regarding Imposter Syndrome and researchers found it more prevalent in women. Times have changed and Imposter Syndrome plagues all genders. This syndrome can lead an individual in the direction of depression, anxiety and a low self-esteem. Elvis Duran’s quote leads me to believe that we all have negative mantras we internalize as if we are wearing a costume hiding who we really are. Imposter Syndrome has increased in Graduate students in college. Most students become Teachers Assistants and Graduate Assistant to professors. If you were to ask these Graduate Students many would say, “Do I really belong in this type of position of authority, am I really qualified and I don’t deserve this responsibility.” I believe this stems from the transition of childhood to adulthood. One still sees themselves as a young adult and has not transitioned into the thought process of their adulthood as of yet. Notably, aging is not tangible nor is an individuals intellectual growth at this stage of life.
LIfe’s experiences can also make us capable of participating in or accomplishing certain tasks. It honestly comes down to our inner voice inside ourselves that started forming at a very young age. Most are taught that they need an adult to always help them with things, experiences and time. The way our parents or guardians would talk about our capabilities is also imprinted on our inner psyche. Yes, yes these messages instilled in us as young children stay with us in our adult life. The question is how do you find confidence, strength and drive to confirm you abilities?
Let’s start here, Don’t compare yourself to others, their abilities and accomplishments. We must look at ourselves through our own singular perspective of ourselves. There will always be people more or less qualified then ourselves. It is like we almost strive to find fault in our own accomplishments based on others. This inner voice needs to work on acknowledging your hard work and your abilities. You can work on this through positive self mantras, writing down all of your education, experiences, skills and knowledge. Sometimes seeing this concretely down on paper over and over again, gives our brain the chance to really absorb the information. If we say things to ourselves enough our brain begins to believe the information we are providing it. My goal for you is to stop with the negative self-talk and begin to administer positive self mantras to yourself.
It is very important for you to associate with other individuals in your chosen field of expertise. This gathering together of like minded people will give you the encouragement that you are worthy and well versed in your job. It also might help you to witness and hear about other ways to expand your knowledge and skills.
I know it is very easy to hear those negative voices inside of us. Most of us listen to this voice very carefully and believe the negative crap we are hearing. I believe it is ok to accept that this is how you feel, this will lead you to identify that changes need to made with inside you. The way for you to take hold of this process is to challenge the negative voice. Let this voice know how qualified you are and capable. Self-talk can be our worst enemy or our best friend. It is truly up to you how you want to cope with the negativity in your head. Imposter Syndrome is fed by the negative thoughts. Believe that you are your own personal Super Hero to yourself and others. This will empower you to change the way you see you and the next time you are at an interview or a job you will feel confident in you strengths.
Now comes the time where I have to be honest with my readers and listeners of my Podcast, Wide Open Spaces with Ilise. I first started my blog and podcast almost four years ago. I felt so much like a fraud and an Imposter. Who was I to tell others how to improve and cope with their lives better? I was just a housewife and mom who had her normal daily responsibilities. Covid hit and I though why not create a Podcast to fill my time during the week. So how did that make me qualified? Face value with the information I just gave you, it didn’t. On paper I am very skilled and knowledgeable. I would tell myself that every time I blogged or podcasted. However, I didn’t truly internalize this and that nasty voice in my head would tell me otherwise. I combated my Imposter Syndrome by listening back to each Podcast I published. I would closely listen to myself as if I was listening to a stranger. The Ah Hah moment happens every time I listen back. I hear my theme music fade out when the Podcast is done and I say to myself, “Damn I sound good and the information and skills that I provided the listener are on point.” Why, because I am not an Imposter! I am a very qualified therapist with many years of hospital experience, working with client, life experiences and my knowledge of Psychiatric Disorders/Illnesses.
On Halloween this year embrace your inner costume and feel proud of who you have become. Maybe, even wear your inner costume externally, Let yourself know that you are strong, competent and qualified. The Super Hero in you should be shared with those around you and to the world. Be a Princess, Batman, President, a Warrior, Author, Doctor, Podcaster, Mechanic, CEO and I could go on and on. Show the world the powerful you and you will intern believe in yourself.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS CREATE POSITIVE ENERGY
EXPLORE ALL OF THE WIDE OPEN SPACES IN YOUR WORLD
CIAO
ILISE
